Category Archives: IP

Not My Baby on Board Part3

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Hello friends, and welcome back to another edition of “Not My Baby on Board”. When we last left off, I was going to go through the medical steps involved in becoming a surrogate. While it’s not quite as tough as brain surgery, there are still quite a few steps involved. So without further ado, here we go.

After having Skyped with the intended parents and agreed that we were right for each other, it was time to make sure that this oven was in tip-top shape. One of the steps involved in this was meeting with a shrink and answering some questions to make sure that I wasn’t crazy and really wanted to do this.

I’d been told that these were standard questions but they ranged from “How are your relationships at home?” to “Have you ever thought of killing your spouse?” (My response to that one was a very mumbled “All the time”, followed quickly by “Hmm? No I haven’t”). This meeting was supposed to be in fabulous Las Vegas where all of the actual medical testing and procedures were to take place, but the psychiatrist was on vacation. So rather than being in a nice doctor’s office, relaxing in a nice chair, I had to answer those lovely questions at home with two little ones running around. Apparently a little gallows humor when it comes to my spouse is a plus, because only a couple of days later I was in Vegas.

I traveled with my friend, Doula, and business partner Jenn. It was in Vegas that the medical procedures began, and took a lot less time than I thought they would. These were simple things like having blood drawn and also having saline pumped into my uterus to check for any defects via ultrasound. Like I said, these didn’t really take that long, and I got the results before I flew back out too. Everything was great and we were right on track.

The best part of the trip was getting to actually meet the intended parents. We got to have dinner together, and they were adorable! I can’t tell you much because they are international super spies (not really) but I assure you they are absolutely wonderful and I am eager to help them grow their family.

After arriving home, and being cleared medically, I was tasked with starting all of legal side of things. Much like a game of telephone I started with all my desires for birth and prenatal care and after it gets passed around to lawyers and the intended parents I eventually ended up with a contract. In my case it was nowhere near the standard surrogacy contract and instead, mainly because of my career path as a doula and two previous unmedicated births, I was able to have a lot of natural sway to our plans.

Did I mention how fantastic the couple I am working with is? Onward and upward, things start moving quickly after this step. I’m excited to tell you all about it next time.

Lauren
Working with families has been Lauren’s passion for over ten years. Her tremendous work ethic and devotion to helping parents has made her a must have in the birth setting, postpartum, and beyond.
Lauren serves her community as an educator, via postpartum planning curriculum and as a Labor and Postpartum Doula. She has a certification in breastfeeding counseling and started her training with DONA; being mentored by established Doulas in Colorado Springs. Lauren is now a professional member of ProDoula and a pre-certified Labor and Postpartum Doula. Lauren will be taking additional training in placenta encapsulation and business by the end of the Summer.

Paving the way, Lauren is the Co‐owner of Colorado Mountain Doulas LLC provides the community with much needed education, local resources, sibling, postpartum, and labor Doula services.

Lauren is the mother of two young children, and has been married since 2008. She loves to cook and entertain for her friends and family in her home in Colorado Springs.

http://coloradomountaindoulas.com

Reproductive Justice in Colorado Springs

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Colorado Mountain Doulas commitment to supporting GROWING FAMILIES in Colorado Springs goes far beyond the “typical” mainstream, nuclear family. We hold a special place in our hearts for those whose families don’t come about in the traditional way. Supporting families through FERTILITY, ADOPTION, SURROGACY, and LOSS is of primary importance to our business model and the local LGBT community is a large part of that. Colorado Mountain Doulas and the Colorado Springs Queer Collective have begun building strong relationships in the local community. This October, we’re turning our attention to Reproductive Justice in Colorado Springs.

Colorado Springs Queer Collective fosters community leadership, education, and empowerment. Our mission is to address inequality, re-invest in the local economy, and celebrate the creative contributions of queer and trans people. We are a group of artists, entrepreneurs and everyday changemakers who are committed to transforming our communities. We lead with a visible commitment to intersectional and intergenerational work.

Colorado Mountain Doulas believe that ALL families should be nurtured and treated with respect. Our support teams help families make empowered decisions about the care they receive continuously, through early preparations, pregnancy, labor, birth and the postpartum period. Colorado Mountain Doulas is also dedicated to elevating professional Doulas by empowering them to make sustainable contributions within the community.

What Does Reproductive Justice Mean?

Colorado Springs Queer Collective believes that “Reproductive Justice exists when all people have the social, political and economic power and resources to make healthy decisions about their gender, bodies, sexuality and families”. We’re also deeply interested in and invested in the history of this movement since the term reproductive justice was first coined by women of color organizing to improve their communities in 1994. That’s around the same time the first International Bill of Gender Rights was drafted in 1993, so there are a lot of important intersections between the reproductive justice movement and queer/trans families locally.

How Does the Reproductive Justice Movement Affect Local Families?

The ability to make healthy decisions for ourselves and our families is a universal issue.

In the broadest sense, the economics are clear. Today, 13% of all Coloradans and 17% of Colorado’s children are living in poverty while 1 in 7 Coloradans are facing insecurity. These figures are even more staggering if we consider that the Federal Poverty Guideline is only around $24,000 gross annually for a family of 4. The issues are even more pressing for LGBTQ families. Trans people, for example, are 4 times as likely to live below the federal poverty guideline and 2.5 times as likely to be unemployed making it more difficult for them to provide for themselves or their families as a result of discrimination and inequality within our communities.

LGBTQ people also face barriers to reproductive justice in the medical and mental health fields. For example, they may have difficulty finding a queer/ trans friendly provider in their area or be unsure where to access information about safer sex and healthy relationships. LGBTQ people who wish to start families may also face particular challenges as they navigate their adoption, birthing, surrogacy, and other parenting options locally.

We want to ensure that all families are treated fairly and have the opportunity to thrive in Colorado Springs.

How Did Colorado Mountain Doulas Get Involved?

Colorado Mountain Doulas initiated a partnership with Colorado Springs Queer Collective after a LGBTQ Strategic Planning workshop in March of 2015. Our organizations recently re-connected at a Springs Equality Chamber of Commerce meeting where we discussed strengthening local LGBTQ health networks. Together, our vision is to establish a bold new precedent for inclusive care and professional leadership.

Colorado Mountain Doulas is excited to help improve the birthing experience for all families. For LGBTQ families in particular, the goal is to create a safe and welcoming environment for queer and trans people to learn more about their options and resources. For fellow birthing professionals, the goals is to serve as mutual resources in an expanding network of inclusive providers and practices including physicians, mental health workers, etc. CSQC verified businesses will receive an electronic badge for their websites and Colorado Mountain Doulas is one of the first in the Springs to be awarded this distinction.

How Else Are You Connecting with People in Colorado Springs?

Colorado Mountain Doulas is excited to co-facilitate a session on Reproductive Justice at the Colorado Springs Queer Collective Leadership Summit for 75-100 participants on October 24th.

We’ve reached out to more than 25 organizations to join the discussion so far including Rocky Mountain Planned Parenthood, The Elephant Circle, Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights, local faith leaders, and more. Everyone is welcome to attend and participate!

We’ll be sure to make related resources available on our websites after summit day. Beyond the summit, we look forward to partnering on some continuing education credits and professional development opportunities to cover these topics in greater depth for those who’d like to help take the lead with us in 2016.

Sounds Great! How Can I Get Involved?

To learn more about Colorado Mountain Doulas, visit www.coloradomountaindoulas.com. To learn more about Colorado Springs Queer Collective or register for the leadership summit, visit www.csqueercollective.org or contact Adison Q. Petti: Leadership Development Coordinator: 720-862-6126 or [email protected]

Thanks for taking an interest in Reproductive Justice in Colorado Springs!

Written By: Colorado Springs Queer Collective: August 2015

Jenn Leonard
A passion for helping families to make educated decisions about their families and their birth choices has lead Jenn to become a great source of information for many across the country. She has been educating families on their choices and guiding them to find their own voice in maternity care since 2002.

Jenn is a certified Labor Doula, beginning her studies with CAPPA, taking many additional trainings along the way and is recertifying with ProDoula in 2015. She is also a trained childbirth educator and Postpartum Doula teaching childbirth preparation classes, and also creating her own curriculum for a pre and early pregnancy workshop focused on families who are just beginning to plan for a family, into the 2nd trimester.

Today Jenn is the Co-owner of Colorado Mountain Doulas LLC, providing the community with much needed education, local resources, sibling, postpartum, and labor Doula services.

When she is not guiding families through their birthing year, Jenn is living in Black Forest, CO with her husband and two children on their hobby farm.

http://codoulas.com

How you grow your family is YOUR climb

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Today was a day that will forever go down in history as a step forward for human rights.

Today is a day that our friends, family and clients will look back on and remember where they were and when they saw the news. (Most will probably say Facebook)

Today our news feeds were FILLED with rainbows and celebration for Marriage Equality.

Today we smiled and shed tears for those that we care about in our personal and business lives who are greatly affected by what today means for them.

Today the team at Colorado Mountain Doulas celebrates with the world. We celebrate the love, the marriage, and the babies to come!

Tomorrow we will be there when our clients call and tell us they are pregnant.

Tomorrow we will be the shoulder to cry on when the IVF or In Vitro doesn’t work for our friends and family.

Tomorrow we will be photographing pregnant bodies and births of babies.

Tomorrow we will be teaching labor techniques and coping skills to birthing people, partners, surrogates and intended parents.

Tomorrow we will be physically, mentally and emotionally supporting families of all shapes and sizes through the most important day of their lives. The day they add a new little being to their family.

Tomorrow we will lift up our clients and help them to find their own power and their own voice no matter how they are growing their families.

Tomorrow we will NOT judge. We will not shame. We will not disapprove. We will be nothing but loving and compassionate and professional.

Tomorrow, from our Christian, Humanist, Wiccan, Mormon, Catholic and Agnostic backgrounds, we will be here, supporting YOU and your growing family no matter how you decide to do it. We know that it is all done in love.

Jenn Leonard
A passion for helping families to make educated decisions about their families and their birth choices has lead Jenn to become a great source of information for many across the country. She has been educating families on their choices and guiding them to find their own voice in maternity care since 2002.

Jenn is a certified Labor Doula, beginning her studies with CAPPA, taking many additional trainings along the way and is recertifying with ProDoula in 2015. She is also a trained childbirth educator and Postpartum Doula teaching childbirth preparation classes, and also creating her own curriculum for a pre and early pregnancy workshop focused on families who are just beginning to plan for a family, into the 2nd trimester.

Today Jenn is the Co-owner of Colorado Mountain Doulas LLC, providing the community with much needed education, local resources, sibling, postpartum, and labor Doula services.

When she is not guiding families through their birthing year, Jenn is living in Black Forest, CO with her husband and two children on their hobby farm.

http://codoulas.com

Not My Baby On Board Part2

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When last we talked, I told you about how I’d been matched with a nice couple from the East Coast. Now I’ll tell you all about how we met, in this segment called “How I met your Surrogate”. I really think CBS stole the title from me, but I could be wrong.

I have to back track a little again to get everything set up for you.

One of the steps in becoming a surrogate is that the future oven (me), and all future ovens, have to fill out a profile, very much like a famous social networking site.

In filling out the profile, I had to answer all of the standard questions you’d find such as “Where do you live?”; “Do you have children?”; “Why do you want to become a surrogate?”; “Who is your favorite Star Wars character?” You know, all the standard questions.

For those of you wondering, my answer to that last question (an answer that still makes my husband shake his head in disbelief), is Jar Jar Binks. (Seriously, my husband is shaking his head and muttering “WHY?” under his breath as I type this).

Now, you’d think that saying something like “I love Jar-Jar” or “sometimes Mommy needs a stiff drink” would automatically disqualify me from becoming a surrogate, but nope. In the end I think my honesty in saying that Yes, I really do love my kids, but sometimes I still need a tall cold beer or a nice dirty martini, helped the IPs in choosing me to be the oven for their bun. Not only did they get to see my profile, but I got to see theirs. Once I saw their profile, I knew that we were going to be a good match.

After talking it out with my husband, and deciding that I had found my match, it was time to meet the IPs face to face.

Now, seeing how this is the 21st century, meeting face to face no longer means having to travel half way across the country and be a nervous wreck when the meeting finally takes place.

Now there’s Skype. Now you get to be a nervous wreck at home.

I had that feeling….that pit in your stomach awkwardness that comes with a first date.

The plan was for me, Darci, and the IPs to talk to each other, using Darci as the “mutual friend” who set up the biggest blind date any of us had ever been on. Like all blind dates, things didn’t work out as planned.

Sadly I’m not the best at Skyping, so even though I was in the comfort of my own home, I couldn’t get my end to work. I’m really not good with these computer contraptions believe it or not.

We couldn’t get Darci to dial in so we had to go it alone, just me and the IPs.

Remember all that nervous wreck stuff I talked about before? Yep, it was there, times a million! I wasn’t in full blown I-think-I’m-gonna-throw-up nervous wreck mode, but I definitely wasn’t cool-as-the-other-side-of-the-pillow either.

The good news is, it went really well. We talked, and talked some more. Babies, families, vacations, upbringings, and the future were just some of out topics. I told ya, first date, right? After almost two hours (longer than I thought), the call, sadly came to an end.

The next step was that both parties had to confirm with Darci, that yes, they were right for me and I was right for them. I was itching to tell Darci how eager I was to help make the intended parents dream come true but they beat me to it!

Minutes after the call ended I got a text from Darci “THEY LOVED YOU!”

Whew. Next up: the medical steps involved in becoming a surrogate.

Lauren
Working with families has been Lauren’s passion for over ten years. Her tremendous work ethic and devotion to helping parents has made her a must have in the birth setting, postpartum, and beyond.
Lauren serves her community as an educator, via postpartum planning curriculum and as a Labor and Postpartum Doula. She has a certification in breastfeeding counseling and started her training with DONA; being mentored by established Doulas in Colorado Springs. Lauren is now a professional member of ProDoula and a pre-certified Labor and Postpartum Doula. Lauren will be taking additional training in placenta encapsulation and business by the end of the Summer.

Paving the way, Lauren is the Co‐owner of Colorado Mountain Doulas LLC provides the community with much needed education, local resources, sibling, postpartum, and labor Doula services.

Lauren is the mother of two young children, and has been married since 2008. She loves to cook and entertain for her friends and family in her home in Colorado Springs.

http://coloradomountaindoulas.com

Not My Baby On Board Part1

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Let’s put it out there, I’m going to be a surrogate. The road to this decision was not an easy one. There was lots of going back and forth, both with myself and my husband (who is awesome) as well as a ton of research including such questions as:

How do I become a surrogate? How do I pick the intended parents? Do they pick me? Is it a combo of both? What’s the infield fly rule?

Like I said, lots of important questions. This is the road that I’ve taken (so far) to become a surrogate. It’s not so much a straight road like “I’m-running-down-the-block-to-hit-the-red-box” kind of road, but more of the “let’s-drive-half-way-across-the-country-without-knowing-where-we’re-going” kind of road. It’s going to take some time, so please bear with me.

A little back ground info on me before we get too far ahead of ourselves.

My name is Lauren Silk. I’m married to a totally awesome guy with whom we have two totally awesome kiddos. I’m also co-owner Colorado Mountain Doulas, a doula agency based here in Colorado Springs. My first child birthing experience was in a hospital and, for me, wasn’t that great. My second was at Mountain Midwifery Birth Center, and was, again for me, amazing. It was during my second pregnancy that I started to become interested in becoming a doula. This was to become a major moment for me as it then lead me to not only become a doula, but start my own company.

It was after a prenatal visit with one of our clients, that I mentioned to my business partner that I was interested in becoming a surrogate. An oven for someone else’s bun, as it were. This was the first time that I’d ever said this out loud to anybody. Not too long after that I worked up the courage to tell my husband.

Now, I don’t know what I was expecting when I told him, but I don’t think I was expecting him to be as cool with it as he was. I thought that there was going to be a big debate about it. There wasn’t. And while we did have conversations about what was going to happen later, the big debate I was expecting just never happened. Here’s what did:

Once I decided that I wanted to be a surrogate and told my husband, the next step was finding out HOW to become one. I was pretty sure that the local Chase branch didn’t do those kind of “deposits”. I did some research, and by research I mean I Googled “Surrogacy Agencies in Colorado”. I found one that I thought would work, but in the end, it didn’t work out. After that, becoming a surrogate kind of took a back seat to life for a little while; but not for long.

Only a few months later I was contacted by a private party as well as a nice lady named Darci from Silver Linings, an agency that finds surrogates for intended parents. After talking it over with my husband, I decided to go with the agency, mainly because they would take care of most of the work involved.

 

After getting contacted about becoming a surrogate, the next step in the process was sending off my medical records to make sure that there hadn’t been any previous complications with my births. Check, check, check, and then not even 24 hours later, I was notified that there might be a match for me with a nice couple from the East Coast.

Next I’d meet the intended parents, for whom I’d be carrying their baby. Whoa that happened fast! Stay tuned I’ll tell ya all about it.

Lauren
Working with families has been Lauren’s passion for over ten years. Her tremendous work ethic and devotion to helping parents has made her a must have in the birth setting, postpartum, and beyond.
Lauren serves her community as an educator, via postpartum planning curriculum and as a Labor and Postpartum Doula. She has a certification in breastfeeding counseling and started her training with DONA; being mentored by established Doulas in Colorado Springs. Lauren is now a professional member of ProDoula and a pre-certified Labor and Postpartum Doula. Lauren will be taking additional training in placenta encapsulation and business by the end of the Summer.

Paving the way, Lauren is the Co‐owner of Colorado Mountain Doulas LLC provides the community with much needed education, local resources, sibling, postpartum, and labor Doula services.

Lauren is the mother of two young children, and has been married since 2008. She loves to cook and entertain for her friends and family in her home in Colorado Springs.

http://coloradomountaindoulas.com